Many people who are overweight have enjoyable, satisfying sex lives. But a good deal of research shows that if you want a more fulfilling sex life, lose 10 pounds.
The studies on sex and weight control agree that people who lose weight almost always enjoy better sex. This might motivate some to stick to weight-loss programs, but few doctors and weight-control experts mention this.
What The Studies Have Found
One study followed 187 obese adults, average age 45, in a medically supervised weight loss program that included periodic quality-of-life surveys. After two years, they lost 13 percent of their body weight. Before the study, 68 percent of the women said they felt unattractive. After, the figure plummeted to only 26 percent. Initially, 63 percent of the women said they cringed when a lover saw them undressed. After, just 34 percent felt that way. Findings for the men were similar.
In a study at Duke, a 44-year-old man shed 47 pounds. “To my utter amazement—and the delight of my girlfriend—I was suddenly imbued with the sexual energy of a 20-year-old lifeguard.” Comments like his prompted Duke staff to survey the sexual effects of weight loss on 70 men, average age, 42. Moderate weight loss—eight to 30 pounds—significantly improved their libidos and sexual satisfaction.
Brown University researchers surveyed the sexual frequency and satisfaction of 32 obese women at the start of a weight-loss program. The women lost an average of 56 pounds. In a subsequent survey, more than half reported greater sexual interest, frequency, and satisfaction.
Part of the connection between weight loss and better sex involves self-esteem. Losing weight boosts it. People feel more attractive, and those feelings radiate to those around them, so they also look sexier to potential lovers.
But losing weight enhances sex for other reasons as well:
• Less fatigue. It takes work to carry extra pounds. Compared with those who are trim, overweight people report more fatigue. Fatigue tends to build during the day. Most people make love at night. So being heavy robs you of energy just when you want it for sex.
• Less pain. Carrying extra weight is hell on the hips, knees, and ankles. Many studies show that compared with people who maintain recommended weight, those who are overweight suffer significantly more arthritis. Pain is a major sexual turn-off. Weight loss reduces joint pain, which improves libido and enhances sexual enjoyment.
• Lower cholesterol. Successful long-term weight-control programs usually limit consumption of meats, which are high in saturated fat and cholesterol. University of South Carolina researchers checked the cholesterol levels of 3,250 men, and then surveyed their sex lives. The higher the men’s cholesterol, the more likely they were to report erectile dysfunction (ED). Compared with men whose cholesterol was below 180 mg/dl, those with levels above 240 reported almost twice the likelihood of ED. In women, high cholesterol reduces clitoral responsiveness and vaginal lubrication.
• Less diabetes. Diabetes, per se, does not condemn anyone to sex problems, but the disease increases risk of ED in men and impairs vaginal lubrication and clitoral sensitivity in women. Weight loss often reverses type-2 diabetes, which accounts for 90 percent of the disease.
Of course, losing weight isn’t easy. You’ve probably heard that nine out of 10 dieters regain what they lose. But this means that 10 percent lose weight for good. How? They learn from their mistakes.
“Few people understand that permanent weight control is a learning process,” says James Hill, Ph.D., of the University Colorado Health Sciences Center in Denver. “People try a diet, lose a little, regain it, and feel they’ve ‘failed.’ But they haven’t failed. They’re learning by trial and error. Over time, they figure out what works for them.”
Dr. Hill co-founded the National Weight Control Registry (NWCR), a database of people who have lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least a year. Since 1993, the NWCR has collected more than 7,000 success stories. The average registrant has lost 60 pounds and kept if off for five years.
How? “They stop dieting,” Hill explains. “Dieting involves major short-term changes that are virtually impossible to maintain long-term. Our mantra is ‘small changes for life.’ Figure out what diet modifications you can live with—and stick with them.”
They also walk. “You can’t keep weight off without regular exercise,” Hill says. “Walking is registrants’ #1 physical activity. They incorporate more walking into their lives. They take the stairs instead of the elevator.”
The biggest surprise to emerge from the NWCR is that losing weight and maintaining the loss are two different challenges. “People lose weight in many ways,” Hill explains, “but they almost always maintain lower weight on a low-fat, low-calorie diet with lots of walking.”
[scroll down for related Questions & Answers]
References
National Weight Control Registry: http://www.nwcr.ws
Janik, M.R. et al. “Female Sexual Function Before and After Bariatric Surgery: a Cross-Sectional Study and Review of Literature,” Obesity Surgery (2015) 25:1511.
Khoo, J. et al. “Comparing the Effects of Meal Replacements with Reduced-Fat Diet on Weight, Sexual and Endothelial Function, Testosterone, and Quality of Life in Obese Asian Men,” International Journal of Impotence Research (2014) 26:61.
Kolotkin, R.L. et al. “Sexual Functioning and Obesity: A Review,” Obesity (Silver Spring) (2012) 20:2325.
Martin, C.K. et al. “Effect of Calorie Restriction on Mood, Quality of Life, Sleep, and Sexual Function in Healthy Non-obese Adults: The CALERIE 2 Randomized Clinical Trial,” JAMA Internal Medicine (2016) 176:743.
Mora, M. et al. “Weight Loss Is a Major Contributor to Improved Sexual Function After Bariatric Surgery,” Surgery and Endoscopy (2013) 27:3197.
Wing, R.R. et al. “Effect of Intensive Lifestyle Intervention on Sexual Dysfunction in Women with Type-2 Diabetes: Results from an Ancillary Look AHEAD Study,” Diabetes Care (2013) 36:2937.
Wingfield, L.R. et al. “Change in Sexual Dysfunction Following Bariatric Surgery,” Obesity Surgery (2016) 26:387.
Questions & Answers
I’ve answered more than 12,000 sex questions from people around the world, of all ages, for free. Here are a few that relate to the topic of this post. If you’d like to ask me a question of your own, please go to GreatSexGuidance.com.
After I gained weight, my husband stopped visiting me for sex. My weight gain turned him off, and he chose to masturbate instead of having sex with me. After a time (1 to 2) months he came back to have sex with me but says it was because it felt better. Ugg! Then he says he finally realized what he had in me as a wife…..wish I could believe him. He is now older and this has come to light only within the last two years. I am soooo crushed. Your thoughts? Read my response…
I’m 40, married 10 years. My wife is caring and loving, but over the years, she has gained so much weight that she no longer turns me on. I’m also finding it hard to maintain my erection. I’ve tried sex with other women and don’t have any problems. My wife loves sex and I don’t want to hurt her. Read my response…
I’ve been married for 28 years and now we are having major marital issues. First, his cheating with the co worker for many years, undetected because I trusted him. Second, he pays me very little attention and rarely wants to have sex and is addicted to porn. I feel hopeless and helpless and ugly and fat. I’m afraid my husband doesn’t love me anymore. I’ve tried everything including wearing sexy lingerie. Please help me. Read my response…
What should I do with a man who doesn’t want to be touched? I am 35 and in a very good relationship with a older man going on 58. He has weight issues. He currently doesn’t like himself very much, so he can’t get it up. I understand that, but I would still like to touch him to show I am still very attracted to him! But he has asked me not to touch him sexually. I desperately want to touch him. I love him and I want to touch him in intimate places even if it is just a little squeeze every now and then. Should I go ahead and touch him? Or do as he has asked and let him try and lose some pounds…? Read my response…