For Premature Ejaculation, Sex Therapy Beats Drugs
Wouldn’t you rather learn how to last as long as you’d like?
In every sexually active age group, one-quarter to one-third of men ejaculate before they want to. That’s premature ejaculation (PE).
There’s no “right” duration for erections. Personal preferences differ widely. But if you come before you want to, you have PE.
If you visit a doctor for PE, you’ll probably leave with a prescription for drugs you probably don’t need. Wouldn’t you rather learn how to last as long as you’d like?
Forty years ago, pioneering sex therapists William Masters, M.D. and Virginia Johnson developed a simple, effective program that quickly cures most men’s PE. The Masters and Johnson program, modified a bit over the years, is still used today, and works remarkably well. It teaches 90 to 95 percent of men to last as long as they want.
Unfortunately, most doctors are unaware that sex therapy works so well. When men mention PE, doctors usually prescribe low-dose antidepressants. Few men with PE are actually depressed. But the most widely prescribed antidepressants, the SSRI drugs (Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, etc.), usually have a sexual side effect—delayed orgasm/ejaculation. So when taking SSRIs, most men last longer. Drug makers have persuaded doctors to harness this side effect to treat PE—and sell more antidepressants.
But sex therapy works much better than drugs:
• SSRIs don’t work that well. They typically delay ejaculation only briefly, a minute or two. Most men want to last longer than that. Sex therapy teaches men to last as long as they’d like, and then ejaculate when they wish.
• SSRIs may cause nausea, headache, diarrhea, libido loss, and erection impairment. The sex-therapy approach to curing PE causes no side effects.
• The drug companies claim that SSRIs show men they can last longer, boosting their confidence, and allowing them to stop the drugs while continuing to last longer. That’s possible, but not likely. The drugs don’t teach ejaculatory control. When men stop taking them, they usually revert to PE. The sex-therapy approach teaches men bombproof ejaculatory control.
• When men stop the drugs and revert to PE, many go back to the drugs—and must use them for life. The sex-therapy approach makes drugs unnecessary.
• The sex-therapy approach is more empowering. When men learn ejaculatory control, they gain a real skill, feel better about themselves, and enjoy sex more.
• The sex-therapy program is also better for the couple. SSRIs don’t change the way couples make love. The sex therapy approach to PE emphasizes whole-body sensual massage. Women often complain that men are too focused on the genitals and intercourse. Most women say they prefer sex based on leisurely, playful, whole-body massage. The sex-therapy approach to PE is a win-win. Men get what they want, lasting longer, by adopting the lovemaking style most women prefer, whole-body sensuality.
• The sex-therapy approach enhances couple intimacy. It involves teamwork. As the man learns ejaculatory control, most couples feel closer and more loving.
To resolve PE once and for all, start with a self-help resource. Self-help is much cheaper than professional sex therapy. I suggest you consider my e-booklet, The Cure for Premature Ejaculation. I’ve received hundreds of thank-you notes from men who have used it successfully.
Unfortunately, a small proportion of men—around 10 percent—don’t receive sufficient benefit from self-help. If you can’t learn to last as long as you’d like from my e-booklet, a sex therapist can usually teach the skill in a few months of weekly sessions. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research or The American Board of Sexology.
And if a few months of sex therapy don’t quite to the trick, then it’s reasonable to try medication.
Unfortunately, many doctors view drugs as the first-choice PE treatment. Actually, the drugs should be the last resort.
I wish you sizzling sex.
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References
Ciocanel, O et al. “Interventions to Treat Erectile Dysfunction and Premature Ejaculation: An Overview of Systematic Reviews.” Sexual Medicine (2019) 7:251.
Cooper, K. et al. “Interventions to Treat Premature Ejaculation: A Systematic Review Short Report,” Health Technology Assessment (2015) 19:1.
Jenkins, L.C. et al. “Compliance with Fluoxetine Use in Men with Primary Premature Ejaculation,” Journal of Sexual Medicine (2019) 16:1895.
Laumann, E.O. et al. “Sexual Dysfunction in the United States: Prevalence and Predictors (Age 18-59),” Journal of the American Medical Association (1999) 281:537.
Laumann, E.O. et al. “Sexual Dysfunction Among Older Adults: Prevalence and Risk Factors from a Nationally Representative U.S. Probability Sample of Men and Women 57-85 Years of Age,” Journal of Sexual Medicine (2008) 5:2300.
McMahon, C.G. et al. “Oral Agents for Treatment of Premature Ejaculation: Review Of Efficacy And Safety In The Context Of The Recent International Society For Sexual Medicine Criteria For Lifelong Premature Ejaculation,” Journal of Sexual Medicine (2011) 8:2707.
Questions & Answers
I’ve answered more than 12,000 sex questions from people around the world, from folks like you. Here’s one relates to the topic of this post. If you’d like to ask me a question of your own, please go to GreatSexGuidance.com.
The first time I masturbated, I used my mind to fantasize about sex, and I came in about a minute and a half. I ordered the ejaculation guru book to self-help this problem. Will the book work for lifelong premature ejaculation? It covers breathing, stop-start methods, and different positions. I don’t want to pay a lot for therapy, and want to know if it will work and if the results are permanent. Also will having sex often help me with life long premature ejaculation? I want to avoid antidepressants and creams. I would much rather do it the natural way. Thank you. Read my response…