All Orgasms Are the Same… But Different
All orgasms result from serial contractions of the pelvic floor muscles. Physiologically, all orgasms are the same. Then why the distinctions among the clitoral, vaginal, and G-spot varieties?
Sigmund Freud postulated two kinds of orgasms in women, clitoral and vaginal. More recently, other pundits have added a third kind to the list, the G-spot orgasm. It might appear that women can have three different kinds of orgasms, while men must get by with only one. Actually, for men, women, and those of other genders, there's only one kind of orgasm. But orgasms can feel different depending on the circumstances and what triggers them.
In all genders, orgasm involves contractions of the pelvic floor muscles that run between the legs and form a figure-eight around the genitals and anus. With sufficient erotic arousal, these muscles suddenly experience a series of rapid, wavelike contractions, usually four to ten contractions separated by less than a second. One full set of contractions equals one orgasm. In addition, most orgasms include involuntary, often convulsive movements of the hips, chest, head, and/or limbs.
In women, the muscle contractions of orgasms are usually, but not always, visible as contractions of the anal sphincter and the vaginal opening. In some women, orgasm also releases fluid (female ejaculation), from the glands the surround the urethra (paraurethral glands, e.g. Skene's glands). Most women who ejaculate produce a teaspoon or less, but some release considerably more. This fluid is not urine. It's more like men's prostatic fluid. Most women can have only one orgasm per interlude, but some (it's not exactly clear how many but a small minority) can have two or more in rapid succession (multiple orgasm).
In men, orgasm typically includes ejaculation of semen. However, different nerves control orgasm and ejaculation. It's possible for men to have orgasms without ejaculating (dry ejaculation), usually the result of spinal cord injury or prostate surgery. It's also possible for men to ejaculate without experiencing orgasm (numb come), often because of alcohol intoxication or feeling turned off by the woman or the sex. I've never seen any credible reports of men having multiple orgasms as some women do, but men in their teens and twenties can often raise new erections shortly after orgasm and come again in less than an hour. However, as men age, the time between orgasm and the possibility of a new erection (refractory period) grows longer and may take many hours.
All orgasms result from serial contractions of the pelvic floor muscles. Physiologically, all orgasms are the same. Then why the distinctions among the clitoral, vaginal, and G-spot varieties?
Variety of Orgasms
I respect much of what Freud had to say, but when it comes to sexuality, he was sadly misinformed. In his view, clitoral orgasms were the province of emotionally immature women. Mature women had vaginal orgasms. If Freud is right, then only a small proportion of of women are mature because only small fraction are reliably orgasmic from intercourse alone. Women's pleasure organ is the clitoris. A great deal of research shows that the large majority of women need direct clitoral caresses to be able to work up to orgasm.
Meanwhile, some—but not all—women enjoy particularly intense orgasms from massage of the tissue two knuckles or so inside the vagina, on the front wall (the top if the she's on her back). This is G-spot orgasm.
But no matter which orgasm a woman has--clitoral, vaginal, or G-spot--physiologically, all orgasms are the same. So why do they feel different?
Consider laughter. Physiologically, it's all the same, but laughs vary from subtle giggles to knee-slapping guffaws. Consider sneezes. Physiologically all the same, but they vary from little snorts to explosions that might rattle windows.
All orgasms are the same, but they may feel different based on several factors:
• Type of stimulation. Depending on how those with clitorises get to climax—clitoral caresses, intercourse, G-spot stimulation, a combination of those three, or other erotic touch (vibrators, anal, etc.)—orgasms may feel different.
• Context. Orgasms in exciting, new, just-fell-in-love relationships are usually more earth-shattering than the physiologically identical response in old married couples.
• Duration of lovemaking. Longer sessions--with lots of touching from head to toe--typically produce more intense climaxes.
• Drugs. Some people call marijuana O-enhancing. But sex while drunk often produces disappointing O's.
I hope people of all genders stop feeling hung up on the "kind" of orgasms they or their lovers experience. Instead of wondering why you or a lover has or doesn't have orgasms one way or another, the important thing is to provide consensual, gentle, loving, nurturing caresses that allow both partners to relax deeply and become aroused enough to come—however it happens.
Questions & Answers
I’ve answered more than 12,000 sex questions from people around the world, of all ages, for free. Here are a few that relate to the topic of this post. If you’d like to ask me a question of your own, please go to GreatSexGuidance.com.
How common is it for men to orgasm from vibrator stimulation alone—with no up and down stroking? My wife enjoys her magic wand (I bought us a second one so as not to burn out the first!) and I tried it with the male attachments a few months ago but it didn’t really do much for me.
Then a couple weeks ago she brought me to orgasm while holding the vibrator on my shaft and stimulating the head of my penis with her mouth. It was a surprise to both of us. Read more and my response…
I’m a 42-year-old woman, and I’ve always had difficulty having orgasms. I can come, but only with a vibrator, and they are weak orgasms nothing earth shaking. I’d like to experience some truly mind-blowing orgasms. I feel like I’m missing out. Any suggestions? Read my response…
I’ve been with my girlfriend for three and a half years. I’m still very young so we’re both of each other’s firsts. We’ve been having sex now for about 2 years and I have only helped her orgasm once. I’ve read articles online everywhere and read online forums for advice all the time, I’ve read some books about the female orgasm and I still have little hope. I do feel like I can maybe make her squirt during sex because she always tells me she feels like she has to pee but that’s what makes her want to stop. Read more my response…
Before my hysterectomy, my doctor and friends who’d had the operation assured me that it causes no loss of sexual enjoyment. Well, I had surgery 8 months ago, and ever since, I’ve had problems. I still enjoy sex, just not as much as before. My husband’s touch doesn’t feel as…well, sexy as it used to. Read more and my response…